You’ve probably been through a break-up along with your boyfriend/girlfriend before. In case you have, in that case you may be informed about the anguish that accompanies it. It’s actually not unconventional to hope that you’d under no circumstances to feel the same kind of pain ever again.
Top Reasons Why Break up happensThink about it, when was the last time you ever had anything solved with yelling? Really. Yelling is just another outlet of irrational thinking which can lead to a relationship break down. I know this too well as I have countless shouting matches with my ex before. Many of them I believe now contributes to my previous break ups. I have learned though. I will now always take a deep breath and give myself a buffer timing zone before getting back at the topic or problem at hand. Keeping a cool head does pay off. Try it and you will see the difference.
She always blamed me that I don't give time to her, and when I am with her I am replying my friends messages or busy on phone not but the least spending most of the time at my workplace. After I lost her I realized that its too late, However after that I made a point to come out with a schedule in my busy life to make sure that I have good portion of time being allocated for things. A surprise vacation with loved one (I don't have yet but...)once in a while just makes her day :-)
Reason Number 1
Communication Breakdown
This is THE number ONE reason why most relationship fails. The lack of communication. It can be a lot of reasons on how and why this can happen but whatever the reason you have, please make an effort on not to let this one happen. This factor can help to prevent all the above reasons from becoming the main ingredient of a break up,
If you have Trust issue, talk to your other half about it. If you have received blind accusations, talk to your other half about it. If you or your other half have not been spending time with each other, talk to your other half about it. Its all about talking and being straight to one another. Letting things to be out in the open does help to bring the relationship closer. It takes time and effort but it sure is an effort that we should make in order to prevent a break up from happening.
In case you have certainly not undergone a break-up before, but think as though your romance is headed there, in that case be very aware. You are most probably guaranteed to result in the same mistakes that most females make when trying to prevent a break-up.
I will give you this typical scenario: The relationship begins incredibly. It’d sound as although he couldn’t get enough of you, and a day wouldn’t seem complete without him or her getting in touch together with you at least once. The whole thing appeared fantastic, and also you may possibly even have had thoughts about when he’s planning to go down on one knee and request you to marry him or her.
Then, abruptly, he starts becoming much less present as part of your romantic relationship. For some reasons he or she becomes smothered in work, or simply becomes more fascinated in his / her friends than in you. He or she spends much less and less time with you. You could possibly have tried to inquire him about what was taking place. However he simply signals it off. The further you tried, the more he glides away – until, for whatever cause he or she may have had, he or she basically shattered the romance off.
The key reason why men or women instantly drop interest is because that they’ve lost the attractive force they had for you. I’m not talking about physical attraction here – I’m discussing on the subject of the more intense emotional attraction, which is the things that makes relationships last an eternity. There might have already been a lot of it during the first attraction phases of the romance, but unless of course it stays there, it slowly will go away.
In other words, except if this emotive attraction is rekindled, the romantic relationship won’t survive. And no amount of bothering, chatting, sobbing, or persuading can change things around – it will eventually even simply make the scenario worse and may even cause your hope to avoid a break up.
How to actually prevent a break up
Break ups can be so difficult to cope with. Especially if you are the sentimental sort. I have been through a couple of it before and I think some of you can relate to this as how I did. Cheating was one of the culprit. There is a way to prevent it and like the old saying goes: Prevention is better than cure. We'll discuss what actually can be the causes of all the break ups and try to scrutinize on these factors. And if prevention still fails...its time to go unconventional. And please don't misinterpret this as going mental! I definitely don't recommend that option. I would prefer referring to it as the Kickboxing or Karate.
When There are Cracks on The Hearts.....
Lets face it, all things happen for a reason. Boyfriend cheats, wifes having an affair, fiance is seeing another guy who is actually your best friend...well, you name it, no matter how you try to deny it, there are reasons behind all these signs of a relationship breaking up. I hate to say it, but most of the time we are at fault ourselves. Thanks to the ever ignorant nature in most of us. These reasons bear obvious signs that most of us are just too ignorant to notice it because "it can only happen to someone else"...Take a step back to think what we have missed and try considering them. Here are the top Five reasons that I feel I myself have contributed to my past relationship failures.
Let the countdown begin....
Reason Number 5
Placing Trust
I do not know about most of you but to me trust in a relationship can be as equal as having a Crystal vase in the middle of a playground. Its the most fragile thing you can ever have in a relationship but we have to place it there to make it work. I loved my first ex with all my heart. Not telling her lies about things.Trusting her in every way because I believed that she was the reflection of me...that is, until I found out how she had actually got herself into a triangle love affair. Or better, just an affair. Theres no triangle in it. I am quite sure about it now. It just made me wonder if all those responds I got from her during our two year relationship were ever genuine. It was long distance relationship. But so what? Anyways I don't blame her for anything neither I have any hard feelings for her...
What I've learned from this episode is that putting trust in a relationship can go both ways. That is, giving full trust to your other half can either work for you or against you. In this case of mine, it works for both. It works for her because she has misused it to gain for her own interest. And it worked against me because she managed to see someone else right under my nose. That hurts...
I would recommend to place trust accordingly. Adjust its level according to the current situation. Access it with due care and try not to be too blind on not to see it coming. When the time comes where it warrants for trust to be discounted, don't over react. It'll just makes things worse. Give the benefit of the doubt and see how the frequency of the events are. If the discrepancy is too obvious then you have to move to the next step.
What I've learned from this episode is that putting trust in a relationship can go both ways. That is, giving full trust to your other half can either work for you or against you. In this case of mine, it works for both. It works for her because she has misused it to gain for her own interest. And it worked against me because she managed to see someone else right under my nose. That hurts...
I would recommend to place trust accordingly. Adjust its level according to the current situation. Access it with due care and try not to be too blind on not to see it coming. When the time comes where it warrants for trust to be discounted, don't over react. It'll just makes things worse. Give the benefit of the doubt and see how the frequency of the events are. If the discrepancy is too obvious then you have to move to the next step.
Reason Number 4
Blind Accusations
I can say that blind accusation is a follow up of reason number 5 in the signs of breaking up. Where tensions are high, words can also be flying out of each other's mouth in a record breaking speed of bullet without anyone of you realized its full consequences.
Where trust is broken, blind accusation will rise in the relationship. Every move the other party makes will give rise to suspicion which in turn becomes words that can be harmful. We need to analyze and validate the situation with rationale thinking before anything else. Keep cool. Sometimes the most ridiculous event can actually happen and I can relate to that. I have tried explaining to my ex-girlfriend many times when I am not able to answer her call and eventually texting her the reason later as an honest reason. Well I don't blame her but it frustrates me the most when the ridiculous truth was the truth. I've tried explaining to her that I cannot use my cell phone during work. She didn't believe me. And before I knew it, she started to accuse me of two timing her and all. Without a doubt, heated words were exchanged.
All I can say is that, if we can, minimize on this where ever is possible and see the rationale part of things. Come to a conclusion only when you are certain and never before all facts are laid down.
Where trust is broken, blind accusation will rise in the relationship. Every move the other party makes will give rise to suspicion which in turn becomes words that can be harmful. We need to analyze and validate the situation with rationale thinking before anything else. Keep cool. Sometimes the most ridiculous event can actually happen and I can relate to that. I have tried explaining to my ex-girlfriend many times when I am not able to answer her call and eventually texting her the reason later as an honest reason. Well I don't blame her but it frustrates me the most when the ridiculous truth was the truth. I've tried explaining to her that I cannot use my cell phone during work. She didn't believe me. And before I knew it, she started to accuse me of two timing her and all. Without a doubt, heated words were exchanged.
All I can say is that, if we can, minimize on this where ever is possible and see the rationale part of things. Come to a conclusion only when you are certain and never before all facts are laid down.
Reason Number 3
Being Irrational In Solving Problems
Things can never get done when yelling takes control of any problem solving sessions. This is particularly true especially in a relationship. I believe this is in fact one of the fastest way to get yourselves the ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend title.
Reason Number 2
Not Spending Enough Time With Each Other
This is the one reason that I felt the most regret with. I didn't really spent much time with her. In fact, I feel this may be the reason on why my 2nd ex decided to leave me. Always busy with my schedule and hanging out and catching up with friends, I tend to leave her on her own.
Reason Number 1
Communication Breakdown
This is THE number ONE reason why most relationship fails. The lack of communication. It can be a lot of reasons on how and why this can happen but whatever the reason you have, please make an effort on not to let this one happen. This factor can help to prevent all the above reasons from becoming the main ingredient of a break up,
If you have Trust issue, talk to your other half about it. If you have received blind accusations, talk to your other half about it. If you or your other half have not been spending time with each other, talk to your other half about it. Its all about talking and being straight to one another. Letting things to be out in the open does help to bring the relationship closer. It takes time and effort but it sure is an effort that we should make in order to prevent a break up from happening.
These are the fact I have found after taking the heat of split... I hope this would find useful for every single reader out there...
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